A Very Cliched Fairy Tale
by Kaahthemarshmello
Summary: "Romeo, Romeo, where for art though Romeo?" What starts off as a 'normal' day for our young heroes quickly becomes a hectic battle to reach home with all sanity intact. Too bad things are never sane when Natsu's your only hope of making it out alive. Rated A for Awesome.


**Dedicated to Kris :) Because you're passing French (^_^)**

**And you thought I couldn't finish a whole story in 1 day. Granted it's all over the place, but the thought is there **

**Fairy tail (c) Hiro Mashima**

**Other Disclaimer: I do not own: Titanic, The wizard of Oz, Romeo & Juliet, nor the lyrics in the story :D**

**Enjoy~ (If you can follow XD)**

* * *

"Romeo, Romeo, where for art thou Romeo?" Wendy sighed as she leaned against a prop tree stump.

"I think I saw him back at the Guild." Natsu said as he walked by with a two by four piece of plywood. Wendy straightened up and gave Natsu her typical Wendy smile.

"Natsu, I wasn't asking where Romeo was, I was practicing my lines for the play."

"Oh, well why would you be in a play about Romeo? He's a cool kid but totally not worthy of a whole play." Natsu gave Wendy a questioning look.

"No silly, the play is called Romeo and Juliet. It's a Shakespeare play."

"Who's Shakespeare?" Natsu asked.

"He was an incredibly amazing English playwright." Lucy answered as she strolled into the prop room. Gray followed in behind her, carrying a box of costumes.

"Oh, well what's a playwright?" Natsu asked as he turned to look at Lucy. As he turned he swung the plywood and successfully smacked Gray in the face. Gray dropped the box and grabbed his face.

"Oi Natsu! You imbecile!" Gray bellowed, shaking his fist and cradling his face with his other hand. Natsu ignored him and looked at Lucy with shining eyes.

"So playwright?"

"Shakespeare wrote plays."

"Oh now that I think about it, it makes sense. Play-write." Natsu stroked his chin, "I'd look awesome with a beard."

"What does that have to do with anything?" Gray demanded, still holding his face.

"You know, I don't think I hit you hard enough, you're still making noise." Natsu remarked, still stroking his fuzz free chin.

"Yeah well you aren't manly enough to even grow a beard." Gray retorted, moving his hand from his face to reveal a purplish bruise.

"Wanna fight about it?" Natsu demanded, tossing the plywood in Lucy's direction and making fists at Gray. Lucy screamed and ducked as the plywood went flying. It smashed against the wall, creating a gaping hole into the storage area. Gray football tackled Natsu and they both went through the hole.

* * *

"Who turned off the lights?" Natsu groaned as he fumbled around in the dark.

"Natsu! Get off my face!" Gray exclaimed, but as Natsu had a foot on his face, it sounded more like "Nasuu goff mu fase".

Natsu leaped off of Gray and hit the wall. Gray groggily stood up; groaning about all the bruises he probably had and took a step backwards. He tripped over a cord of some sort and went tumbling into the wall, successfully hitting a switch. Bright lights flashed on, temporarily blinding the two mages.

"Ah the light! It burns!" Natsu moaned. He blinked a couple times and realized Lucy and Wendy was no longer with them.

"Ice block, where'd Lucy and Wendy go?"

Gray looked around.

"They are probably still in the prop room. We fell through the hole you made with that stupid board. Remember?" Gray grumbled.

"That was your fault. I can so grow a beard, I just choose not to."

"Gah! Forget it; talking to you is more useless than talking to a wall."

"No way, walls won't say anything. How could that be useful?"

"That's my point."

"I don't get it."

"Of course you don't; you can barely read."

"Can so."

"Can not."

"Can so."

"Shut up!"

"Make me."

"I will once we get out of here. It smells like horse manure."

"Yeah there's just one problem."

"And what's that?"

"The hole is gone."

Gray spun around, taking in each mustard yellow wall. Natsu was right, there was no hole.

"Then how did we get in here?" Gray asked, staring at the walls, willing one to reveal the hole.

"Oooh tiny bottle." Natsu said as he picked up a tiny bottle. It had a tag that read 'Drink Me' in bright red letters. Natsu popped the top off and took a sniff, "smells like cherries."

"Don't drink that! It could be poison." Gray exclaimed as he reached for the bottle.

"Only Lucy would be dumb enough to make a trap that obvious. Unless Lucy has nothing to do with this; well that settles this. I'm drinking it." And with that Natsu tipped the bottle back and took a sip.

"You idiot!" Gray exclaimed. Natsu swallowed the mysterious liquid and burped.

"Holy cow this is good stuff. Gray, you got to try it." Natsu held out the bottle for Gray.

"Are you stupid? I'm not drinking that, if I don't die from poison; I'll die from Natsitis." Gray crossed his arms, with a scowl on his face.

"Natsitis? What's that?"

"It's whatever you have that makes you so remarkably dense." Gray responded. Natsu shot him a glare before tackling him to the ground.

"Ahh! Flame sputtering idiot! Stop knocking me over!" Gray struggled to get up but Natsu held him firmly to the ground. Before Gray could realize what happened, Natsu tipped the bottle over and let the remaining liquid drip into Gray's mouth. Gray choked and sputtered until he swallowed the strange drink.

"You're right, that was pretty good." Gray said thoughtfully.

"Ha ha! Now you're going to be the dunce!" Natsu shrieked with glee.

"I was kidding about that you know." Gray rolled his eyes. Natsu stared at Gray.

"Uh, Gray?"

"What?"

"Are you getting taller?" Gray looked at Natsu. They were about the same height usually but he watched as Natsu slowly got smaller.

"No, you're shrinking."

"Well in that case I apologize."

"Why?"

"Because, I made you drink that stuff too."

"For cripes sakes."

"My thoughts exactly."

"Just shut up."

* * *

After shrinking, the two mages were about two inches tall.

"I've always wanted to be able to fit through cracks." Natsu said as he rolled into the crack between floor tiles.

"Stop playing around. We need to figure out how to get out of this mess." Gray glared at his imbecilic friend.

"I'm sure Lucy and Wendy are looking for us. All they have to do is jump through the wall and voila! Saved~!" Natsu suggested as he lay on his back in the crack, staring at the ceiling.

"Yeah and we're two inches tall! They'll step on us before they even see us! You'll be the splattered bug on the bottom of Lucy's designer boots." Gray pointed out.

"Are you talking about the black ones? Those are not designer, Lucy can't afford nice things; she's poor and has serious issues with clothes. They just fall right off. Talk about sleezy. No wonder Loki is obsessed with her." Natsu rambled.

"Do you even listen to yourself?" Gray inquired.

"And those pajamas she wears are weird. Who has armadillo pj's? Lucy does, that's who." Natsu added, completely ignoring Gray. Gray sighed in frustration. Of all people to be stuck with, it had to be him! Gray walked away from Natsu, who still lay in the crack, and surveyed the room. There was something odd about the way the wall directly across from him looked. Something round glittered. A door knob? Gray ran over to the wall and inspected the shiny brass handle. It was too small for him to have noticed when they were normal height. Now it seemed that they were exactly the right height to open it.

"Oi Natsu, I found a door knob."

"About time you did something useful." Natsu jogged over. He sniffed the door knob.

"Why on Earth did you-"

"Checking for anything weird. Smells like a door." Natsu shrugged. Gray rolled his eyes for the hundredth time and grabbed the handle.

"Ready?"

"Starving."

"I didn't ask if you were hungry."

"Are you going to open the door or not. I haven't eaten in hours."

"You just drank-"

"Open the flipping door!" Natsu exclaimed. Gray turned the handle and pulled the door. It didn't budge.

"What the?"

"Gray, seriously I think you were right. Natsitis is real."

"I told you that I made that up."

"You couldn't have, clearly you can't read. See the big old sign above the handle? It clearly states push, not pull."

"Whatever." And with that Gray pushed the door open. They were shocked by the scene that awaited them.

* * *

Instead of seeing the prop room as Gray had expected, they saw green fields and a castle off in the distance.

"Well Todo, looks like we're not in Kansas anymore." Natsu quipped.

"You need to stay away from Lucy's old movies."

"Irrelevant to the current situation." Natsu responded. And with that he stalked off.

"Where are you going?" Gray demanded.

"Following the yellow brick road to the emerald city; I'm going to visit the wizard and wish for magic heels that will take me home."

"This isn't the wizard of Oz."

"Well it certainly isn't Titanic, which I haven't seen all of yet. Wait a minute that was your fault."

"What are you rambling about now?" Gray sighed.

"Come on it happened like two stories ago. You got me kicked out of the theatre, I wreaked your shirt, and you tried to feel me up as I ate popcorn. None of this rings a bell?" Natsu gave Gray a very serious look.

"Not a one."

Natsu shrugged and continued down the road. Gray grudgingly followed.

After about ten minutes of walking they came across a little cabin. An elderly woman no wait it looked like a cat, sat outside on a rocking chair. Natsu ran up to the friendly old Kitty.

"Hi ma'am, my acquaintance and I were wondering where this road leads?" Natsu asked as politely as possible.

"Why that road leads to the Princess's castle." The lady purred.

"Princess? So there is no wizard?" Natsu looked crestfallen.

"No wizard, but a legend tells of a man willing to grant wishes to those who bring him treasures of the castle." She smiled kindly, her whiskers twitching.

"Excellent, so will this princess let us have some of her treasure?" Natsu asked eyes hopeful.

"I imagine she would give anything to the hero that rescues her." The lady replied, licking her paw.

"Rescues her from what exactly?" Gray demanded (very demanding isn't he?).

"Why a terrible menace; the poor thing is trapped in her room while a towering dragon guards the castle."

"Dragon? Gray it has to be Igneel!" Natsu bowed to the lady, rushed thanks and booked out of there faster than Lucy running from a flirty Leo. Gray groaned and ran after his friend.

"Good luck!" The lady cat shouted as the boys ran off in the distance.

* * *

An hour later the two mages were standing at the bridge that leads to the castle. Gray gulped as he stared at the boiling lava flowing below them.

"This bridge looks awfully feeble." Gray stammered, clearly afraid to fall into lava. The woes of being an ice mage, lava was nearly impossible to freeze.

"It's fine, the broken boards add character and the lava states a sense of danger. This is by far the most typical fairy tale 'rescue me' cliché." Natsu concluded, nodding his approval with the whole setup. Gray disagreed but since this was the only lead to getting back to the prop room, than he had to take it.

"I know the end is coming, I know I should have run. A 24 story love affair, with me down here and you up there~" Natsu sang as he marched across the bridge. Gray slowly shuffled behind Natsu, jumping every time Natsu swung the bridge.

"This is loads of fun." Natsu said happily.

"Oh yeah, oodles and oodles of fun." Gray mumbled sarcastically.

"Touch down!" Natsu jumped the last few steps and landed on the cement ground. Gray breathed a sigh of relief. Natsu turned around, drew in a deep breath and released a giant fire breath. The bridge burnt and fell into the lava. Gray looked on in horror.

"Why the Hell did you just do that?" Gray raged.

"Well we can't have anyone follow us." Natsu explained.

"Natsu, that bridge was our only way back."

"Opps, I guess I didn't think that through."

"YOU THINK?"

"Gray, there's a vein popping out of your head. You need to calm down. The princess is probably magical and has a secret back entrance anyway."

"You're basing your destruction on an assumption?"

"Shun the non-believer; Shun!"

"I'm going to make your life a living hell if we ever get back."

"Guilty."

"Huh?"

"Stop wasting time! Let's get out of here! We've got a princess to rescue."

Natsu ninja snuck into the castle. Gray walked in behind him in a normal human way. The two walked into what was once a huge entrance hall. It was awfully dirty. A thick layer of dust covered everything.

"Wow, looks well lived in." Gray said sarcastically.

"Are you blind too? Clearly no one has cleaned this place in years." Natsu responded. Gray sighed-again.

"So where do you suppose the princess is?" Gray asked.

"Probably in the highest room of the tallest tower." Natsu replied, taking one step up the stairs. Gray followed behind him. They climbed up staircase after staircase, each one steeper and more spirally.

"I've yet to see this terrible dragon." Gray commented.

"Igneel probably went to get some take out. He loves Chinese food you know." Natsu added.

"What if this isn't Igneel, the chances are very slim you know."

"It has to be him. Who else could it be?"

"Well Gajeel and Wendy's dragons are still missing."

"Puh-lease, no metal or air dragon would live in a castle surrounded by lava."

"Well I'm just preparing for the worst."

"That being?"

"Elf-Man in a bikini."

"Mental image I did not need thanks."

"No problem." Gray replied as they made it up the last few steps. A huge wooden door stood before them.

"Well this is either the princess or Igneel." Natsu muttered.

"Or Elf-man."

"No"

Natsu pushed the door open. The room was immaculate. The room was dust free and full of golden furniture and trinkets. In the middle of the bed was a golden bed with red velvet curtains. Lying on the bed, dressed in a very fancy gown was the princess. Her long hair shone with a golden light, just like the rest of the room. The two mages walked up to the bed. The princess stirred in her sleep but otherwise made no movement.

"The princess looks awfully familiar." Gray noted.

"Naw it's just because she's got her hair the same way as Lucy's." Natsu assured him.

"Natsu that is Lucy!"

"Well I'll be I guess she does own some nice clothes."

"None of this seems right." Gray said.

"Hey Lucy get up, we have to go now." Natsu said as he shook her shoulder. Suddenly they heard a crash behind them.

"Natsu, I think the dragon's home." Gray tugged on Natsu's vest.

"Who dares break my bridge?" A growling voice demanded.

"Natsu…"

"Lucy, get up!"

THUMP THUMP THUMP

"Natsu…"

"C'mon Lucy!"

THUMP THUMP THUMP

"Natsu…"Gray voice shook as the bedroom door blew open.

"AHHHHH" Gray shrieked like a girl as the growling dragon entered the room.

"Natsu? Gray?"

"Happy?" Natsu smiled gleefully.

"Aye!" Happy exclaimed as he hugged his best friend. Gray stood in the corner of the room, trying to avoid a heart attack.

"Gray, you scream like a girl." Happy announced.

"You're the dragon?" Gray asked through gritted teeth.

"I'm a cat." Happy shot Gray a cautious stare. Clearly he'd been through an ordeal.

"Did you catch Natsitis or something?" Happy asked. Gray face palmed.

"Alright so I guess it wasn't Igneel. Lucy!" Natsu returned to trying to wake Lucy up.

"You don't read many fairy tales do you Natsu?" Happy asked.

"No why?"

"The only way to wake up a princess is with a kiss." Happy announced.

"Oh, well Gray, kiss Lucy."

"WH-why me?" Gray asked weakly.

"Why not?"

"Because it's Lucy."

"She doesn't bite…much. So hurry up. If you don't want to leave then I guess we can stay but I'm not cleaning the castle." Natsu said.

"Fine, I'll do it," Gray grumbled as he stumbled over to the bed.

He leaned over Lucy, a blush slowly creeping onto his face. He never noticed how soft her lips had looked before. With a deep breath he leaned in and brushed his lips against hers. It was a simple kiss and as he stood up, Lucy's eyes opened.

"You call that a kiss?" Lucy grabbed Gray's shirt and pulled him down on top of her, her lips crushing his.

"Ahem"

Lucy released Gray and glanced at Natsu, a grin spreading across her face.

"You all rescued me from the dragon."

"Well Happy isn't really that intimidating." Natsu replied.

"Happy isn't the dragon."

"Wah?" It was all Gray could manage after having his mouth ravaged by Lucy's.

"You mean you didn't slay the dragon!" Lucy squeaked.

"We didn't see any dragon." Gray noted.

"Oh crud." Lucy sighed.

"Who is the dragon?" Natsu asked.

"I am." A voice from behind them replied. The grouped turned in horror to look at the 'dragon'.

"Erza!" Natsu smirked. Erza returned his smirk with an icy stare.

"Who dares wake the princess?"

"Gray kissed her." Happy supplied. Erza turned to Gray, her eyes a thousand daggers piercing his skin. Gray gulped as Erza lunged, suddenly a fully fledged dragon. The last Gray saw before blacking out was Erza's big brown dragon eyes.

* * *

"Gray, wake up." A soft voice spoke.

"Are you sure he's okay?" Another voice asked.

"Of course he is, see the swelling is going down." A louder voice responded. Gray opened a blurry eye and met familiar brown ones.

"Ahhhhhhhhh!" Gray scrambled backwards against the headboard of the bed he was lying on. Erza stood up straight and after giving him a concerned glance, turned to the others.

"I'll inform Master that he is awake." And with that she left the room.

Lucy rushed over to Gray.

"Gray you shouldn't be moving around too much." She said softly. Gray eyed her lips and remembered the kiss. A blush crossed his cheeks. That's when the pain kicked in.

"Ah, my face."

"I think he needs more morphine." Lucy glanced at Wendy.

"I think you frightened him." Wendy replied.

Gray took a couple breaths and looked around the room. He was in the hospital.

"What happened?" He asked.

"Well we were at the theatre and Natsu accidently smacked your head with a piece of plywood." Wendy explained.

"Then what?"

"It knocked you out cold." Lucy added.

"What about the room? The liquid? The castle? Erza was a dragon and I had to kiss…" Gray stopped.

"That was probably the morphine, you dreamed all of that." Lucy smiled kindly.

"Really? Thank god." Gray was relieved, "so where's the flame brain?"

"He went out for a bit."

"Oi! Erza said Gray was awake." Natsu said as he walked through the door. Gray looked at the fire mage and gasped.

"You have a beard! This is a dream inside a dream!" Gray panicked and clonked his self on the head again.

"Gray?"

"I think he knocked himself out."

"It wasn't even real." Natsu muttered, scratching his 'beard', "I thought it'd be funny."

"Guys, how did he manage to strip in his sleep?"

"Only Gray knows…"

END.

* * *

**Well Kris, did you pick up on the "Big one"? XD Love you! **

**Did ya catch the slight NatGray hints? That's for you & Steph should she read this ^^ But on a serious note, I need sleep holy Armadillo! **

**Reviews welcome, flames welcome (though Natsu will just suck em' up so yeah)**

**~Kaity**


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